Forgiveness is a conscious choice to give up struggling against the past, and to no longer let past actions continue to control, hurt or drain us of our vital energy. The active process of forgiveness is about letting go, letting go of our own judgments, blame, anger and resentments. It is the ultimate act of self love, that frees us from the bond of the past, and the cords that bind us to the very people we often want to forget ever existed.
Now this may seem very woo woo, but science is providing the proof that forgiveness is good for our bodies and our soul.
This simple act is one of the most powerful healing and manifestation tools that we have at our disposal.
But we all know that forgiveness is often easier said than done. So how do we navigate this complex space?
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself
It’s common to resist forgiving out of the belief that forgiveness in some way let’s the other person off the hook. This is not the case at all; forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened was okay. It definitely doesn’t relinquish the need for the other person to take responsibility for their actions and choices, or mean that person should still be welcome in our life. It simply means that we've made peace with the situation, and we are ready to let it go. When we forgive another, it enables us to wipe the slate clean. It frees up all the energies that were blocking us from standing in our authentic power and opens a doorway to new levels of self esteem and happiness.
Most of us have not had a lot of practice with this challenging process so I recommend starting slowly and building up your forgiveness muscle. Journalling is an easy and very effective way to do this. Invest in a forgiveness journal and make a list of who and what you need to forgive. This will give you a realistic look at the emotional pain you are carrying. Start slowly by picking something or somebody easier to forgive. Every day, journal about the incident, person or situation. Forgiveness happens in your heart not your head, so make sure that you express your full emotions around what happened. Letting go of the burden of anger, blame, resentments or grudges may not be easy, but it will be worth it.
Learning from our mistakes
You and I are human. And as humans, we make mistakes. We let people down. We hurt people we love. We do bad things, but this doesn’t mean that we’re bad. Everyone makes mistakes. There is not a single person on this planet who hasn’t stuffed up in some way. But for some reason, we hold ourselves up to an impossibly high standard and believe that we should be immune to mistakes. Making mistakes is part of our human condition. It’s one of the important and primary ways that we learn. It’s part of our evolutionary process.
Forgiveness will set you free
The ability we have to create everything that we desire in our lives is in direct proportion to how completely we have forgiven others and ourselves. When you live your life fuelled by guilt and shame, your decisions and behaviours are directly influenced by this toxicity.
The only way to truly create a life that you love is to forgive yourself for not meeting your own expectations. Self forgiveness allows you to give yourself a break. To be compassionate, kind, and understanding to yourself, you need to know that you have done the best that you could with the knowledge and information you had at the time. A powerful way to do this is to write yourself a forgiveness letter. Give yourself at least 30 minutes to find a quiet space to write a heartfelt letter. Take your time, giving yourself the gift of being present to everything that comes up without judgment. Start with “I’m sorry,” and the rest will flow. You might like to burn your letter when you are done as a symbol of your commitment to let go and move forward.
If you look at what is happening in the world right now, we can see that it’s our inability to forgive and ask for forgiveness that is the cause for all conflicts.
We might not be able to change the world but we can be the change we want to see in the world by choosing to forgive.
Rebecca Jackson is an empowerment coach and founder of Higher Love Today. Over the years, she has guided thousands of people, to connect with their true self and unique gifts, as a foundation for living a life of purpose, passion, and prosperity. She is the author of You’re Not Alone: A Practical Guide for The Awakening Soul. To find out more visit www.rebeccajackson.info